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Friday, 6 April 2012


its all about the twitter these days, the underestimated internet sidekick that people generally struggle to understand.

dem yout dem love the twitter, mainly because the elders are getting too comfortable with the facebook so dem yout dem start " a- tweetin ".

............. need some translation ?
ok then, - Twitter is what they call a micro-blogging website, which means you can make posts like blogger, with the apparent drawback of only using 140 characters. it`s this element that stopped me using it initially, i had no idea of how this could be useful. kids soon saw the advantages because grandma is only just getting into facebook so the best place to hide and swear and repost drivel is the twitter.

i`m not into stalking and to be fair - i`m not worth stalking, but if you want to follow the progress of an on-going project such as an album being made or  how stephen fry does his shopping ; twitter is your best friend. 

you sign up and decide who you want to " follow " by clicking and away you go.
every little thing that Mr Fry tweets will now show up on yr page., and i mean everything. us followers knew that he was stuck in traffic a couple of years ago and couldnt make a gig because he tweeted it. ( followers stuck in the same traffic based tunnel fiasco soon tracked down mr fry and offered personal condolences and food and coffee - then tweeted about it ). the bizarre thing about the whole non-event was that the t.v show he was late for -  had the heads up about the situation because of, yes, you know it. - twitter. - this was the intended purpose of twitter ; one message goes to all.

 i follow a few people on twitter, sometimes out of curiosity but mainly for amusement. one tweeter i know stops what they are doing to tweet every few minutes - off to the allotment - arrived at the allotment - my wellies dont fit anymore - i just fell over - i got muddy trousers - going home to change- nearly home now- home now - cant find my keys -- it goes on and on and on. i`m sure people have lost the ability to be on their own for more than 5 minutes.

...of course  when they are not tweeting, they must be thinking of things to tweet.

the commercial world has got in on the act, naturally. Any website recieving several million hits an hour is prime real estate - even if it is only derpina checking to see if skrillex has finished his toast yet.
 where theres clicks theres money, i`ve even been led to believe that some high profile airheads are paid to tweet certain things at times - - the circulation of any media, no matter how trivial, has the potential to earn big bucks. 

..its worth taking on board that if someone like Rihanna is paid 20 thousand dollars to tweet one piece of dribble, letter for letter this makes them the highest paid authors in history.. ok, p.diddle may be only able buy one diamond encrusted cufflink for 20k , but somehow it doesnt seem right. Are old commercial models and macros being applied to a relatively new dynamic ? it looks like it to me. this means somebody somewhere loses out. mmmm , i wonder who that will be.

take away the cute little bird and you are left with ....disturbing huh?

follow us.

During the UK Riots last summer ( synchronised shoplifting if you ask me, but whatever .. ) ,  i discovered the genius that is hash tags. whether the system is designed this way i dont know, but being able to search out specific tweets that contain a word you specify, is one powerful function.
for example. - i wanted to see photographs of the " rioting" as they were published so i looked for posts with RIOT in the text. . dem yout dem busy running round london went out of their way to photograph and tweet as it was all going on. all i had to do was to select the tweets that had a link to a photo.
real time updates.

the other function of twitter is proving to be really useful in the world of medicine, you see people love to type stuff online when they have a cold. if you translate the time and place of all the " my nose wont stop running ", " i`m sick of this cough " etc etc., you can track illnesses world wide. very useful when it comes to predicting and taking evasive measures ( or advertising remedies , it depends on which side of the chemists counter you are on ) .

.......and finally.

i tried playing with the format of 140 characters or less -    this is the best i could come up with : 


I enjoy posting on twitter, throwing out tweets to a handful of followers, the only awkward thing is that you have to keep your sentences sh

thanks for reading.

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