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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Internet Dating


( Single Sites Decoded )

i don`t mind admitting that i`ve spent time on dating sites, the urge to join sometimes is irresistible. not old school dating sites you understand. oh no, only since the rise of easy to join / no subscription web sites  have i shown an interest, and even then its not really an interest, it seems more of an obligation.
i like to think of it as "window shopping ", it`s all to do with the fantasy world i live in where i have a choice.



so,

  1. join. 
  2. upload a photo
  3.  rattle off a few words of description ( only to be edited many times over )
  4. start a basic search, spend every evening trawling through endless photo`s of glasses of wine, webcam snaps,birthday pics, photography studio experiments,duckfaces,. if i see one more "wacky" one i think i`ll scream.
  5. have no luck whatsoever, and believe me , i`ve got low standards.
  6. delete account after 6 months.
rinse and repeat.

Here are some descriptions you might find, and what they really mean:

 Outgoing Personality :           Total Alpha, runs the room and always gets the last word.

 Bubbly :                                Usually code for fat, but in reality see above.

Loves Cinema, dining out :    As long as you are paying.

Own house and car :              Can`t afford to keep paying a handyman

Looking For Long Term :        seriously needs to get laid without appearing loose.

Light Smoker  :                       Chain smokes hunched over a keyboard at night.

Social Drinker  :                      Gets the wine out as soon as the kids are in bed.

Loves the outdoors  :                 House is a mess.

wait a minute,, outgoing personality ? if you have an " outgoing personality ", what you doing on a dating site ?

<   i best leave it there, i can feel a rant coming on   >

I`m not saying they dont work, i know plenty of people who have hooked up through the internet, me included. - didnt last or end well, but there it is. i say never give up if that`s your thing.

be good.

thanks for reading.






                






28 comments:

  1. I am actually on an internet dating site, and I totally approve and agree with this post. Except I waited a lot less than six months to give up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i start looking for the " delete account" button after 2 or 3 weeks. i occasionally see a face i know in real life, which is a bit freaky, but very very rare.

      Delete
  2. The definition of "light smoker" made me laugh out loud! I hope you meet someone nice in a more conventional way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There was a female blogger on a dating site who said men kept sending her dick photos. I wondered what it was about her that encouraged them. "Must have a pulse" was one of her catch phrases.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yes, i`ve sen those descriptions. another classic is "looks not important". cracks me up everytime.

      Delete
  4. LOL I haven't tried this yet but this is a good reference to look back on if I do.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't forget 'loves children' = paedophile! I always thought 'bubbly' and 'outgoing personality' were code for 'common, overly talkative loudmouth'! When it comes to the deceptive descriptions, I don't know who are worse, the men or the women! Must be the women, our vanity and self denial know no bounds! 'Curvy, sexy, voluptuous goddess'? Bitch, please! Right FAT COW you are!!!

    Can't believe you're single, you're lush!

    Much love, your favourite stalker! :) ♥♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. " curvy, sexy,voluptuous godess" - short arse, used to be a man.

      Delete
  6. This is so funny! I actually met my fiancé on Plenty of Fish but I can't tell you how many men sent me messages before him that didn't have a drivers licence, still living at home and unemployed. One was still living with his wife but they were "separated"!
    I always figured that I would have ended up meeting my fiancé anyway because he ended up being my mail man. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that`s the making of a film, right there.

      Delete
    2. Something like...'You've got post'.

      Delete
  7. What does "enjoys long walks on the beach" equal?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i`ve never quite worked that one out, no-one likes a "long" walk on a beach - its exhausting. a leisurely amble with a dog maybe if you live by the sea.

      Delete
  8. Hahahaha... looking fot LONG term alright. People are so funny. :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Never tried internet dating but not opposed to the idea.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never tried it either, but I have a few friends who swear by it. One is even engaged to a girl he met on the internet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it does happen,, nice profile pic dude!

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. go out and meet people, talk to strangers, ask and listen. it`s the only way really.

      Delete
  12. This might work. "Too bad" I am single then.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have never tried a dating site. I don't see anything wrong with them though. I have a lot of friends who have met through dating sites. Even know 2 couples that are married and they met through dating sites. Maybe someday, I will give it a shot. I am tired of the bar scene!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my cousin married that way, cant remember the website though. - as fir bar scene, there isnt one here. getting a bit old for that anyway :)c thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  14. The quality of information that you are providing is simply marvelous.
    Lauren Madison

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my sarcasm detector seems to be working fine, so i`ll take that as a compliment. thank you.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
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